wordy post

Hazel:"ELLE! BE BRAVE!"
Elle:"CANNOT LAH CANNOT!"
Hazel:"YOU CAN ONE LAH HAIYO!"
Elle:"REALLY CANNOT LAH! NONONONO!"

Well, I wouldn't go into details about the whole thing, but basically, it's about me not being courageous&confident&brave enough. Hazel really cheer me on today, but somehow somewhat, that wouldn't do. Like, if you know that going ahead with something brings you nowhere, and something may perish due to that, will you still go ahead with it? Hell NO! Then Hazel said I can do it, because I really can, but guess I myself know the situation well. I wouldn't wanna plunge into something which I know that it-wouldn't-be-happening, FATHOPE. But again, this is something which I really can't seems to place aside no matter what, it's like an automatic recorder which will play everytime I happen to bypass it. It's seriously not a very good feeling, really really. And I think this is the 87654321345678976543456 times which I told myself to place it aside/throw it away/dump it, but it doesn't seems like I am listening to myself, or should I say my heart doesn't seems to be listening to my mind. Wtf, I wanna get the hell out of this whole shit pleaseeeeeeee...

On a sidenote,
Today marks the last day of sem1 OFFICIALLY. So... yea, W14H is gonna split next sem and I, again, need to meet new people, new faci, new environment. What will it be like? I wouldn't dare to think of it to be something very nice yet because the disappointment level will be dreadhigh if things happen the other way round instead. Thinking back, I kinda miss W14H, the fun and everything. ESP MY RANGERS. I seriously can't imagine what will the next sem be like without you girls, you girls are the motivation of -school- and -breaktime- AHAHAHHA. But I guess my rangers will be happpy because there wouldn't be someone whining most of the time, bring them to eat and eat and eat and stuff them with food and food and food and food. They shall all slim down and I shall continue to fatten myself. ahahahahah. Anw, rangers came over tdy, and we watched olympics, we were shouting and screaming away! YESYES, this is what it should be like when watching olympics can! ahahahhahaha. Hais.. well... rp... policy... have to learn to adapt to it, if not it will be damm hurting during the end of every sem. Oh, then I thought of UNI, I thought of her saying that she wouldn't like to get too attached to anyone because... because... kay, I forgot about the conclusion, but yea, me trying to put that into practice now, think it will somehow cure abit of heartbreaks now&then, here&there.
Tomorrow marks the first day of holiday. I should be happy that holiday's finally here right, but... nope, not so, not really, not at all. This holiday will be superhyper busy for me, there seems to be something happening every single day. Be it moderndance, ballet, kayak, work, chalet, KL trip, blahblah... whatever... HAIS, it's gonna be yet another tiring month. Ohwell, I deserve it, because I choose all this. keyword: CHOOSE. Yesyes, so my whining shall stop here. NVM, shall... deem it as a very interesting&happening mnth then.

Pictures up tomorrow.

goodnight.